From 2011 to 2013, our graphic design studio experienced rapid growth. What started as a humble home office soon expanded into a bustling commercial space, complete with a growing team. Luke and I juggled the exhilaration of progress with the daily grind of managing cash flow—a task that often felt like trying to stretch a shoestring budget across a marathon.

Yet, despite the financial rollercoaster, we found immense fulfillment in our work. With each award we won, the challenges we faced paled in comparison to the joy of running our own business. The stability of a steady paycheck couldn’t compete with the satisfaction of pursuing our passions.

As the Creative Director, I found myself thrust into the realm of client meetings and design management—a role I never imagined for myself. Yet, with experience came confidence, and soon, clients trusted my vision without needing a sales pitch.

We poured our hearts and souls into our studio, working tirelessly from dawn till dusk, yet never allowing our work to encroach upon our personal lives. Despite the occasional stress, life felt good—a testament to the rewards of entrepreneurship.

But in 2013, the winds of change swept in, bringing with them a sense of unease. My health began to falter, sending me on a journey through doctors’ offices and natural healing practices in search of answers. My body tested positive for some of the Lyme disease bacteria and shortly after I developed chronic fatigue. I dramatically changed my diet and cut out all refined sugar and dairy as well as avoided gluten which I have an intolerance to.

The chronic fatigue took hold of my life. Each morning became a battle to haul myself out of bed. During one of my sessions with an osteopath, a wise soul who doubled as a metaphysical healer, I poured out my feelings of exhaustion and inexplicable body aches. His response struck a chord deep within me. He spoke of exhaustion as a symptom of imbalance and a lack of alignment with one’s true passions. At first, I vehemently defended my career choice, but the subtle flicker of concern in his eyes planted a seed of doubt that took root in my mind. For weeks, I grappled with the unsettling notion that perhaps I was on the wrong path.

Every morning, I lay in bed, grappling with questions about my happiness and motivation. I made a pact with myself: I wouldn’t rise until I’d decided on a pursuit that brought me joy. Some days, I found solace in music, while others were consumed by futile attempts at productivity. Even mundane tasks like cleaning became a sanctuary for my racing thoughts, albeit at the cost of precious energy. Luke, ever the supportive husband, shouldered much of the household burden, easing my guilt as I struggled to find my footing.

Scaling back my workweek to three days provided a semblance of relief, allowing me to explore my passion for art. However, my perfectionist tendencies morphed into paralysing procrastination, hindering any meaningful progress.

It was about this time that I got pregnant with my first baby. Pregnancy unleashed a wave of exhaustion that eclipsed anything I’d experienced before. Sleep became my constant companion, as I surrendered to the demands of my weary body.

After childbirth, my chronic fatigue had eased but our colicky baby demanded round-the-clock care, leaving me running on very few hours of sleep. Again I felt drained but my body didn’t ache and I was able to do housework and exercise without the next day being a write-off.

I went back to work 1 day a week when my daughter turned one and when she was two I was doing 3 days a week of freelance graphic design. I was also pregnant with our second child who came into the world mid 2018. I kept up with doing graphic design work a few days a week and when our daughters were a few years old I went back to doing graphic design full-time. I enjoyed it most days and then some projects would make me dream about writing my own creative brief and not having the direction of my creativity dictated by a client.

I reaslied that the job of an artist or illustrator offered more freedom to create than a graphic designer. I was bored of briefs that limited creativity and demotivated with all the changes that took away from a vision I had for a design. I wanted to not only work for myself but also to dictate the direction of my inspiration and creativity. That to me was the ultimate dream.

This year both of our daughters are in school 5 days a week and I have time. Time. Time is something that I didn’t feel I cherished enough before having children. With my newfound time, I have embraced a simple mantra: “Done is better than perfect.” I have made a pact with my perfectionist tendencies, acknowledging that progress outweighs perfection.

So on the first day my daughter started Prep at school I sat down ready to create something for myself and I found myself overwhelmed with a flood of ideas and no idea which one to start with. Again my old procrastination foe started to creep up because I didn’t know what to prioritise and what would help me make progress.

I devised a different solution—I would entrust my fate to chance. Collating all my ideas into an app that randomly selects a task, I embarked on a daily creativity challenge. This spontaneous approach injects a sense of excitement into my creative process, banishing procrastination to the sidelines.

Each day the world of art and illustration beckons, promising a canvas of boundless freedom and self-expression—a path where my creativity can soar. I have no destination with it, just enjoyment and discovery. My style may seem chaotic, and my art may lack consistency, but within each stroke lies a piece of me—a testament to the beauty of imperfection and the joy of creativity.

If you want to follow my journey further, please visit my Instagram to see what I’m up to.