All the time I hear of mothers being upset about their babies growing up too fast. Well… that wasn’t me, no siree! Picture this: middle-of-the-night crying sessions that seemed to last FOREVER. Yep, that was my introduction to parenthood. My first baby came into this world with a full set of lungs and a knack for round-the-clock colicky episodes that left us feeling like clueless rookies in a parenting boot camp.

We didn’t exactly have a blueprint for what parenthood would entail. Sure, we knew about the crying, the feeding, and the nappies, but 20+ hours of non-stop crying? That was a whole new ballgame. Even the midwife’s sympathetic glances couldn’t shake the feeling that we were navigating uncharted waters.

The advice poured in from friends, family, strangers, and medical professionals: routines, formula feeding, medications, you name it, we tried it. The restrictive breastfeeding diets, the expensive colic cushion, the rocking in different positions, babywearing, breastfeeding, probiotics, wind medication, gripe water, middle of the night car rides, cosleeping, massage, trips to the doctor, visits to the lactation consultant… I think you get the idea. She had a tongue tie released at 9 weeks but again we didn’t notice any improvement. We left no stone unturned. And yet, the crying persisted, relentless as ever.

I was up every night at least 6 times a night, sometimes 11 or 12 or she wouldn’t sleep at all and just have nano naps on us. I became a walking zombie. I tracked all the pees, poos, feeds, food I ate and what little sleep she had in a desperate attempt to find a pattern amidst the chaos. Sleep training and routines weren’t possible as it was always an emotional cry and the need for constant burping threw the routines out the window. After a few months, I got my husband, Luke, to sleep in the spare room so that he could get a good night’s sleep and function better for work.

Nights blurred into endless cycles of burping, feeding, and futile attempts at soothing. Sleep? What’s that?

I vividly recall one particularly harrowing night where it took me until 3am before I finally got her to sleep only to have her wake up at 5.30am for a feed. After feeding her I noticed she needed a nappy change and being so tired I thought I would wait for Luke to come in and he could change it after 6am when his alarm goes off. At quarter past he hadn’t come in so I thought ok I can muster the energy to get this nappy changed then put her back to bed. I changed the nappy and was carrying her back to bed when she projectile vomited all over me, down her front, and on the carpet. So I changed her clothes and by this stage, she was screaming so I took her to Luke as he had just woken up. I became a sobbing mess of tears to the point where I couldn’t even tell him what was wrong. It was moments like these that tested every ounce of resilience we had.

People kept promising that it would get better at 3 months when she could hold her head up but the months ticked by and the relief remained elusive. It wasn’t until nine months, when she was walking around and eating more solids, that we glimpsed a light at the end of the tunnel. We even got a few nights where she slept for 6 hours straight! And just when we dared to hope, teething swooped in like a cruel twist of fate and all hope for sleep went out the window.

I kept thinking there was some magical solution just waiting to be found but we couldn’t find it.

I wanted to be one of those mums who get all the housework done while the baby naps, the ones that can walk their baby around the shopping centre while the baby sleeps in the pram and can still go to restaurants and cafes. They are the mums that can carry on with their life after having a child, instead, I felt like our lives were put on hold.

Every day I willed my baby to grow up faster so that I would no longer have to see her go through the wind pain and cry without being able to help.

I’m happy to say that my baby grew out of the colic, she’s nearly finished teething and one day she will be sleeping through the night regularly. What helped us through a lot of the wake-ups was the extra cuddles, and the whispered lullabies in the dead of night—those were the moments that kept us going. I learned to savor each precious second, knowing that this chaotic chapter would one day be a distant memory.

Fast forward to today, and we’re blessed with a second bundle of joy, mercifully free from colic. Oh, the relief! I’ve been able to enjoy the baby phase a lot more. Our second baby sleeps so peacefully for hours at a time and even in her peaceful slumber, I catch myself checking that she’s still breathing, a testament to the scars left by those sleepless nights.

There are so many firsts and lasts with childhood. First smile, first food, last breastfeed or bottle, and last time you rock your baby to sleep. Before we know it our babies have grown up and are independent little beings that we call toddlers with their whirlwind of energy and attitudes that makes us wonder whether we’ll cope through the teen years. This doesn’t make me sad, it makes me glad that our little girl has gained the confidence to do things on her own. Despite the rocky start, she’s grown into a happy, easy-going toddler and now when she cries I can help as she’s able to communicate with us.

If you have a colicky baby and have tried everything, the best advice I can give from my experience is to offer your baby lots of comfort through baby-wearing, breastfeeding (if you can), and co-sleeping. Even though it seems the end isn’t in sight, the day will come and then you’ll find the so-called terrible twos will be like a walk in the park.

So, to all the weary parents out there, take heart. This too shall pass. Lean into the chaos, embrace the cuddles, and remember, you’re stronger than you think.